THE CHEMICALS OF TRUTH

By Sam Hendrian 

Getting advice about depression

Is like turning an English essay into a math problem,

Wine into water:

“Drink up and you’ll feel better!”

Still I felt in need of pity 

So I told her I was sad 

And wandered around aimlessly 

Searching for a smile that meant something. 

She knew I hated “sorry”

So she said it in another way:

“I hope your brain chemicals 

Find their way back home.”

Couldn’t mock her good intentions

Though I did so privately,

Wishing my English essay

Wasn’t seen as such a clear-cut math problem.

Alright, maybe it’s chemical,

But I can’t change the chemicals of truth,

The ice bucket to the face 

That comes from dissolving delusions. 

“Drink up and you’ll feel better!”

Water into wine, 

Math problems into English essays 

For which there’s no good advice. 

ABOUT SAM: Sam is a lifelong storyteller, striving to foster empathy and compassion through art. Originally from the Chicago suburbs, he now resides in Los Angeles, where he primarily works as an independent filmmaker and has just completed his first feature film 'Terrificman', a deeply personal ode to the power of human kindness. 

Instagram: @samhendrian143

THE COLORS OF HEARTBREAK

By Deby Cedars 

His kisses were scarlet passionate shades of red.

The irresistible manly scent of his mocha skin

would fan the crimson flames of burning red desire for him.

Sometimes nights with him would be the hot pink color of lust.

The dark grey depression would consume me when he went away.

Sending me into a deeper darker shade of blue.

No honey sweet kisses to accompany the smell of crackling burning logs

in the fireplace.

No more frolicking in the golden bright sunlight.

Outside the window only hazy grey dismal shades of Winter.

He left me for another.

He left me green with jealousy.

He left me jaded in more than one way.

The fragrance of baby powder on his black jacket

That he left behind, like a black rose of death.

As black as the funeral of our love.

ABOUT THE POEM: This is about my first serious boyfriend in high school. When he broke up with me, I became suicidal. I was in so much emotional pain; I just wanted the pain to stop. I made a suicide gesture by taking some of my Mom's prescription pills. Luckily, they were not her blood pressure pills, but just some old antibiotics. I did not die, nor did I have to get my stomach pumped. In time I fell in love with someone else and got over my heartbreak.

MY INNER TWIN

By Kiran Harrar

On occasion my twin rears her tormented head,

All the anger, despair, hopeless & hate consumes the gentler me,

The Devil has stolen my thoughts and commands expletives to my mind,

Banishing the Angel, that is fighting to break through.

Goodness has no freedom from my alter ego, she comes disguised as barren soul,

Footprints stalking beside me, waiting breathily for my lowest ebb.

I cannot let her win, nor can I extinguish the flame she carries,

For she is a part of me,

To the end we stay as one,

My Inner Twin.

ABOUT THE POEM: 'My Inner Twin' describes how mental illness forces us to become 'different' people, and how, once it has taken hold of us, it's part of our very being.

NATURE AND REFRAIN

By William Gray

Torn flowers cast from the well

Mirror of shadows show their way

In a wilderness for lost to wander

As shallow dreams made yesterday.

Fragments born by love unknown

Bled by deep mistrust then blame

Fear prepares us not for normality

Caught between nature and refrain.

Some escape taken to other worlds

On broken paths turned out lame

Searchers long destroyed at once

By creators drowned in their game.

Lifetimes under skies never answer

The gazing questions left to remain

Why waste that of your own making

Caught between nature and refrain.

Cruel moments they replay slow

Calling out the hate over again

To hear those screams from memory

Torment inner demons until shame.

Only the Ferryman knows our worth

For he has nothing left to gain

Some bargain sealed since birth

Caught between nature and refrain.



HOSPITAL VISIT

By Tim Boardman

What explains 

Why I was

Crying in the car 

I’m a

collapsed 

Old man

With 

Tears

Soaking 

The car seat

Eventually 

I’m swimming

In the car 

In the sea salt

Like Alice 

Arriving home

And wringing out

The car mat

And the cat

Just grinning 

Just grinning

DIFFERENT

By Jason Kirk Bartley

It's not fun to be different,

the outcast or the nerd,

it's not fun to be different,

our voices seldom heard,

but we can be unique,

that speaks volumes and volumes of

ourselves,

We can be who we want to,

not just try to fit in,

Some of us are a little different

from what others want us to be,

Some will not be our friends,

We're happy with who we are

and brave enough to see,

that we're an original shining star,

with so much to give,

by the life we live,

and so many talents, gifts, and skills

to help us along our way,

We love our lives to the fullest,

and we're not scared to say,

"Please do not try and make us conform!"

A lot of times the most brilliant and artistic go against the norm.

ABOUT THE POEM: "I wrote this poem because I know life is hard and not everyone takes it the same way. Some are a little different, and that is okay. We do not have to be like everyone else. We fit in by our unique personalities. That's what makes this world a better place - We all are different. That's okay."

ABOUT JASON: Jason is 48 years old and paranoid schizophrenic, but very stable on his medicine, and with his doctors. He has won many writing awards, and has been published in various places. He has a master's degree in ministry from Ohio Christian University in Circleville, Ohio. He is married to Nila, his forever love.

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