Featured Poet - Becky Bishop

VOICES IN YOUR HEAD

It’s not always easy, to stop the voices in your head,

That take over your thoughts and fill your mind with dread.

It’s not always easy, to unhear what they say,

For the voices seem to there, day after day.

It’s not always easy, as the voices also invade your dreams,

Taking over your life, making you want to scream.

It’s not always easy, as the voices can only be heard by you,

Controlling what you think, controlling what you do.

It’s not always easy, people dismiss how you feel,

They don’t understand, that to you the voices seem so real.

It’s not always easy, no matter how hard you try,

For the voices in your head, never seem to say goodbye.



ANXIETY

My mind’s a mass of thoughts, racing through my head,

Engulfing me, with feelings of panic and dread.

Even at night, my thoughts keep me awake,

Anxiety takes hold, causing me to sweat and shake.

Social situations and meeting people overwhelm me, I worry what to do,

Sometimes I cancel plans, it’s not a reflection on you.

My heart pounds away, my mouth feels all dry,

I try to control my thoughts but at times I just want to sit and cry.

I’m constantly overthinking things, my worries whirl around my brain,

No matter how hard I try, my feelings overwhelm me time and time again.

I try to control my anxiety but it’s hard when it takes hold of me,

People don’t understand, for it’s an invisible illness they can’t see.

LIFE CAN OVERWHELM

Sometimes life can overwhelm you, make you want to sit and cry,

As you contemplate all the things, that seem to be passing you by.

You see people in relationships or getting engaged or married, whilst you’re still single and alone.

Seeing their romantic snaps, every time you scroll through your phone.

You see people having babies or praising everything their children do,

Whilst you feel pressure from family, that you should be having children too.

You see people getting on the property ladder, a nice flat or house they buy,

Whilst you can’t even get a deposit or mortgage, no matter how hard you try.

You see people with good jobs, being promoted or progressing in their careers,

Whilst you’re struggling to find a job, or have been stuck in the same job for years.

You see people going for meals out or on holidays, happy, carefree and enjoying life,

Whilst you’re stuck at home, dealing with the daily grind and endless strife.

You see people having success and wish it could happen to you,

Always missing out on opportunities, no matter what you do.

DISCONNECTED

How in a world where we’re so connected, can one still feel lost and alone,

Like there’s no one around and all your friends have gone.

Thoughts go through your head, you try and keep them at bay,

But it still eats away at you, day after day.

A feeling of always being, the person in the wrong,

Trying to find your purpose and trying to stay strong.

People chip away at your confidence, yet don’t realise that they do,

What may seem insignificant to them, has a big impact on you.

Putting on a smile, behind a mask you hide,

No one ever knowing, how you’re really feeling inside.

Like a bird trying to fly, with a broken wing,

You’re just waiting for your moment, to fly high and sing.

THE BLACK DOG

Sometimes I’m fine but then I’m taken over by the black dog,

Engulfing me in waves, I can’t see my way out of the fog.

Hanging overhead, like a cloud it drags me down,

But the feelings overwhelm me and make me feel like I’m going to drown.

Sometimes I’m treading water, other times I’m swimming against the tide,

Fighting inner demons, my true feelings I try and hide.

The dark thoughts haunt me, throughout the day and night,

But if anyone asks, I always say that I’m alright.

I isolate myself, I avoid people who care,

I don’t want to be a burden, so my problems I don’t share.

Attacking like a monster, the black dog eats away at my soul,

Taking over my life, making me feel less whole.

It cripples and disables me, often I struggle to cope,

Like a constant nightmare, it leaves me with little hope.

Sometimes things get too much and make me want to end my life,

It would be a happy release, from all this inner turmoil and strife.

For when the black dog descends, it’s like a bird of prey,

Always finding its target and on my shoulder it stays.

The black dog can affect anyone, it’s not exclusive just to me,

But many stay silent, their inner demons they don’t want the world to see.

ABOUT THE POEMS: "I have been an unpaid carer for my grandma for eight years, and it has been an extremely difficult time and experience. She is very depressed and has a low mood, and is very verbally abusive towards me, which obviously impacts on my mental health. It is very difficult to try and get any help from professionals. I find writing poetry very therapeutic and an outlet to release emotions. I want to highlight what it is like to be an unpaid carer, and the difficulties faced, as well as highlighting mental health."