Featured Poet - Jocelyn Katz

THE GRIP OF THE MALE GAZE

I’ve never been great

at playing pretend.

The plastic high heels never fit

as much as I imagined,

Their faux sparkle

never lightened

tomorrow and yesterday;

the feather boas

always shed their pieces

much too fast.

I could not imagine a world

where the props meant something.

Once I learned

beyond the things I could

see,

hear,

smell,

taste,

I believed—

and that made it even harder

to pretend

that there was never something there.

The curse of a dreamer.

The haunt of the possibility.

The infinite lives not lived.

How do I pretend

to gloss over the way

you held my gaze?

Much too long,

like a toddler clinging

to their mother

in a grocery store.

How do I pretend

your presence

did not set wildfires

along my palms and chest?

I could tell you

the distance between us

is an ocean,

but my body knows your gaze

like the warmth of a sunbeam

on skin

that never knew how to bask.

How do I unfeel your eyes on me,

like fingerprints on a glass

I can't wipe clean?

You trace the edges of my thoughts,

and my skin remembers

the weight of your silence

where we sat

without speaking—

as if your absence

could speak louder

than your presence ever did.

I am a puzzle,

framed in your gaze,

half-made,

unsolved.

Now though,

I must learn to pretend.

I will learn

to put on

my plastic dollar-store tiara

and my flaky feathers

and keep moving.

Maybe I’ll dream of you.

Like I do.

BLEED BLUE

I don’t wanna bleed 

But I’ve got holes in me, blood down to my knees 

I hope I don’t stain the carpet. 

I hope I don’t get my feet wet. 

You can dance with me, but I’ve got two left feet 

And I can’t keep the beat 

I hope you don’t think I’m clumsy 

At least you’ll be thinking of me

THE GAP

I sit down, 

Fingers tracing the edge of my desk. 

She’s near, 

The space between us was thick with silence, 

A gap wide enough to feel. 

I shift, 

Not running, 

But making room for air, 

A quiet separation to ease the weight. 

She moves too. 

And the gap narrows, 

Closer, 

Like an unspoken understanding 

That is where we’ll stand now. 



REHAB

Within the rehab’s loud walls, a story unfolds, 

A dance of chaos, of truths retold. 

A boy, a sociopath, in enigmatic guise, 

Navigating emotions with distracted eyes.

He drew me in, a comforting embrace, 

Amid noise, a strangely sacred space. 

A connection formed in whispers shared, 

Yet beneath it all, emotions snared.

As rehab’s storm moved room to room, 

I wanted a friend to cut through the gloom. 

In moments raw, we dared confide, 

A brief alignment, side by side.

But shadows lived in this fragile link, 

A sociopath’s charm with edges that stink. 

Deceptive grace, emotions staged, 

A closeness built—then disengaged.

The noise stayed loud, but you pulled away, 

In skipped replies and words you wouldn’t say. 

A painful ending, trust misplaced, 

In rehab’s roar, a bond erased.

PRETENDING NORMALCY

Pretending normalcy— 

a mask I wear, 

Yet beneath the surface, 

a storm to bear. 

I stayed for you. 

I left from you.