ISBN: 978-0-692-62585-9

Holding It Together is an intimate journey through the bleak desperateness that comes with mental illness. It is also, ultimately, a memoir of survival and the restoration of hope, as she finds her way to where she is now: not just coping, but thriving in spite of—or arguably, because of—her illness. Her story is inspiring, and she uses her unique, effective voice to advocate for more research on alternative therapies for those who do not respond to traditional treatments.

Depression Lesson

dedicated to my daughter Leah

My little girl sits

at the edge of my bed

with love and concern

in her eyes

as I try to look happy

but no longer can

and I watch us switch roles

as she gently strokes my arm

and tries to convince me to eat

She leaves my side

and quickly returns

with a chocolate shake

and tentative smile

Guilt infiltrates

the depths of my sadness

She’s taken on a burden

that’s impossibly large

What will happen

if she someday believes

she failed me

I’m not sure what she knows

so I try to explain

between tiny labored sips

but it’s impossible

How can she understand

what I can’t

Reversal

I sometimes identify

with mimes

dressed head to toe

in black

silent

their white-gloved hands

pressing invisible walls

but they exude

a sense 

of jovial desperation

My invisible walls

are much too real

my jagged desperation

painfully stifled

There’s no joy

for me

in hiding the truth

It’s a terrible feeling, wanting to be authentic yet needing to be selective in who you tell about a mental illness. There is such a stigma attached to it and the fear of misperception and judgment is powerful.



In the quiet village of Collinsville, Connecticut, Joan has lived life shaped by stories and the power of words. With a background in education and marriage and family therapy, she spent years as a college counselor and Learning Disabilities Specialist, guiding students to discover their potential. That same clarity and compassion now infuse her poetry, which extends beyond the page into communities, classrooms, libraries and museums. Joan has been a featured reader on public television’s Speaking of Poetry, performed in art museums and festivals, and mentored young writers finding their own voices. Her collaborations with musicians and artists, most notably in Stringing Words Together, blending violin and poetry, create memorable artistic experiences. Her work has earned national recognition, including awards from Foreword Reviews, the Hackney Literary Awards, and Writer’s Digest. Through it all, Joan’s poetry remains a bridge: lyrical, human, and deeply connective.