Featured Poet - John F. Zurn

THE FLAMES GOES OUT

In the quiet peaceful darkness

all my thoughts are gone.

Then flicker flicker to flame

my mind again flips on.

Desire for recognition and fame

flicker flicker to flame-

So anxiety, fear and doubt,

again burst into flames.

Then slowly, fitfully,

the flames burn down,

until flicker flicker

the flame goes out.

Then, at last,

I’m home again,

and the shadow is gone.

ABOUT THE POEM: "This poem expresses the idea that my mind is never peaceful for long. But there are moments when I can escape it."

CROCODILE

My mind is like a crocodile

that wrestles me to death.

I tried to cross the river,

but I’m drowning here instead.

I suffocate in agony,

as I’m rolled and pulled apart.

I languish in my misery,

and despair has gripped my heart.

In this terrifying nightmare,

I cannot swim to shore.

My soul has been surrounded,

and I’m frightened to the core.

This hellish time consumes me,

and I simply try to breath.

As the locking jaws still crush me,

in this river where I bleed.

ABOUT THE POEM: "This poem explains how difficult it can be to move forward when I constantly have to deal with mental health challenges."

THE STENCH OF DEATH

I’ve been drowning here

for so very long

circling the drain of doubt.

Treading the water of despair,

the zest for life has disappeared.

A descending ceiling begins to drop

down and smother me,

as thoughts and feelings trouble.

So how do I fly, run or swim

in these restraints

that pin me down

like a half dead butterfly

stabbed and mounted

on some morbid wall?

This violent heartless world

is not my home

and the future is impenetrable,

while the yesterday of could have been

is broken and gone.

The stench of death approaches now

and the light behind the presence

ignores and alludes.

ABOUT THE POEM:   "This poem is about depression and how all consuming it can be."

A BLOWN FUSE

A force of nervous energy

of worry and anxiety,

overwhelms my every thought

until I finally blow a fuse.

I’m left out, confused and frightened

as the old familiar anger grows,

then I stumble into a dark

and deep dangerous hole …

Slowly, desperately I crawl out again

utilizing every possible coping skill.

But each time the normal current returns,

and another fuse is finally installed,

I become weaker and diluted,

and a little less sure of myself.

But I always start over again

and do the best with what’s left.

This nervousness is permanent-

Nevertheless.

ABOUT THE POEM: "This poem is about dealing with a panic attack and its aftermath."

FIRE AND ICE

I’m a fever with a blazing brain.

I ignite the world with flame and heat.

My raging thoughts out of control

consume me as delusions grow.

I’m a phantom with a frozen brain.

I limp with numbing stumbling steps.

A tragic figure ruled by ice

of which the world is ignorant.

I’m a victim of a rotten brain-

My brain that stinks when sleep deprived.

It’s awful stench and anxious doubt

ooze out and fouls my reeking mind.

I’m a hero with a dreadful brain.

Always it’s been so.

I stare down both my life and death

as only kindred spirits know.

Yet, I will rise above my fears-

the terrors that invade my soul.

I will break free and then transform

my brain and its disruptive storms.

ABOUT THE POEM: "This poem is about mental weather and how unpredictable it is."