Featured Poet - Poisoned Poetry

POEM 1

Carrying on with my day

Thinking I am doing better, okay.

Then something happens,

Often small

To remind me,

I am not okay at all.

I slow down, breathe for a moment

And I stumble and I fall.



POEM 2

Enfeebled by the weight of my

Melancholy. Drowning in the

Pointlessness of my days.

Tortured by the

Yawing left by death.



POEM 3

Hard balls of rusted iron rope

Knotted deep in my stomach

Serrated claws in my head

Tearing at my brain

Nails constantly, mindlessly

Picking holes in my skin

Hard and taught my tongue

firms up my mouth

Breaths come quickly, if at all

lungs hardly filling up

Truths jammed in my throat

Not letting me swallow

Eyelid twitching to a restless beat

Bone on bone grinding in my jaws

Heart hammering on my ribs

Shoulders aching and muscles popping

Tortured thoughts in my mind

Tumbling over each other to be heard

Startling at the slightest sound



POEM 4

I remember the

damp and cold from

the hard concrete step, 

chilling my body.

There was no wind, just stars 

in ink black sky.

It would have been

beautiful, if we 

weren’t laden with grief.

Sitting in a silent scream, 

we would have split

a bullet that night.

Now I am glad

we didn’t.



POEM 5

Bashed my head off the fridge door yesterday

Broke that magnet from the holiday before

Predictably the door was slammed

Disgustingly the plate was smashed

Left an imprint of teeth on my own skin

Dented the toaster on the kitchen sink

I am the lamb and the slaughter

The myth and the monster

A flame breathed vicious creature lurks inside me

A pit and a pendulum of my own design

Punishment and damnation I must deserve

But if I gave love there instead, what would I learn?

POEM 6

I know every story needs a villain

But I promise you I don’t fit the part.

Villains are strong, mean, callous and cold.

I only built walls to protect my heart from your hurt,

Stopped wasting my words on your deaf ears

And turned my back on your condemning gaze.

Though these things looked the same to you,

They are not in my heart.

I wasn’t mean, I was surviving.

I needed love, not ostracising.

~



ABOUT THE POEMS: "In July 2019 my second baby died suddenly and unnecessarily. My whole world changed. I never felt the same, saw the world the same, or loved the same again. I have struggled with PTSD, depression, anxiety and OCD since then. Writing has helped me process her loss, accept my mental health problems and find my place in the new world around me."