Featured Poet - Charli Jackson

BREAKDOWN

It's a hard being this strong

Filtering out the all of the wrong

I don't know how long, how long

I can keep holding on

The journey I've spent all alone

I can't wait until I'm finally at home

I breakdown every day

Feel like I'm going insane

Neglect from me and everyone else.

I breakdown every day

Anxious mess is driving me

To somewhere I cannot get out

It's hard healing yourself

When you haven't had the help

I live the past and melt

'Cause I can't deal with the hell

Psychology's got so me compelled

So I work on it to help myself.

I breakdown every day

I can't deal with what comes my way

When your cries have fallen all the way down

I breakdown every day

What more can I say

See what I become after I rise back up!

DIFFERENT BEAST

Beautiful rose, so pretty and red

I hold you to wonder, but instead

You teach me a lesson I wouldn't have learned

When I held you once, I was disturbed.

I dreamed it would be a heavenly grasp

And all was granted, for wishes I asked.

When reality shows itself to us all

She's a different beast that stands this tall

So slender and attractive and full of grace

She will stab you whilst looking at your face.

As the blood will flow, and your heart may stop

She stands there with grace, as you drop.

9-KAH

I don't need you,

for my validation

I've suddenly come,

to a realization

I only need my drive,

and my ambition

If it was you or me,

I know my decision.

I thought I only felt

With an incision

I'm sorry I put you

In that position

I looked beyond the pain

I was on a mission

I bid you farewell

I am off for remission

I'm walking my way

I never needed permission

Trauma will skew

My feelings and my vision

Don't lose myself

Without any restriction

Tell my story

Of heartbreak and addiction

Don't cover it up

It is not an affliction.

I know who I am

And I say it with conviction.

CRY FOR HELP

I'm sick that you're selfish,

I'm sick of your name,

I'm sick of your callousness,

And heart-breaking games.

I never even saw it coming

I didn't even know you then

When you said that you don't know

I knew I lost a friend

But you meant more,

Oh, I wish you knew

Much more of me

And how much I truly grew

But no assistance

No one even heard me cry

When it matter you weren't there

And now I ask you why?

Did you notice I'm broken

I'm beyond what you can save

Did see me lighting

And now I'm ashes from flames.

GRIM

I cut myself...in half

And I walk away.

As I pass you,

A slice

And I realise,

I am no longer moving 

My feet are shackled to the ground.

And it is the only thing

Stopping me

And it is the only thing

That has kept me DOWN!!

I am cutting again...

But this time it is your face

And my blood,

Runs cold,

   and my eyes...

Cry rose petals, they fall like silk

And I know ... I have been buried alive



BLEUGH!

I know I can be difficult,

I did not learn to deal with it,

I know I can be loud,

While inside I silently die.

I know I am emotional,

But I give you, my truth.

I know I can be negative,

But I am a cynic at the root.

I know I shut myself away,

But it is because I am ashamed,

Of how wrong the image of me is,

And how I appear to the world, repeatedly.

My insanity is in my laughter, my sanity is in my tears.

My deviancy is my anger and what I feel is still in here.

My complicity is my way of surviving, even beyond my needs which nobody hears.

And at the end I will live alone.

And I will die alone.

But I will savour every moment that I survive this dark part of me.

And every year is another accolade, that I never gave up on my family.

The ones that deserve my protection and guidance,

The ones that put up with my self-hatred and violence.

If someone truly loves you, they won't cry on your shoulder,

They will do something right and they'll dare to be bolder.

They speak out and fight your demons right by your side,

They will be with you no matter the ride.