THE WORLD'S GREATEST COUNSELLOR

By Carrie Cutts

Dear Emilio,

Every week, you and I, we would meet for a chat

It was good to know that you had my back

With no reason to care, a cup of tea, a gentle tone,

Your patience is endless, safe and cosy, like home

Dangling by a thread in time and space,

Like a pendulum’s swing, I was losing pace.

Swinging back to the past to recall the view,

But its never as clear as when the swinging was new.

Drenched in darkness, I would wade through my day.

Gradually, problems inching further away.

Riddled with pain and weighed down by sorrow,

I might break free soon, perhaps even tomorrow.

They don’t understand, I don’t want to be free!

I wont act happy for the whole world to see.

I want the memories of the good times to stay.

I’m terrified now, they will all fade away.

The movie in my mind on constant replay,

I binge-watch and rewind when I lose my way.

My confidence is all used up and gone.

The world around me has shrugged and moved on.

Holding tight to the past inside my mind,

Keeps the memories and my hope alive.

The dreams still linger, like a kiss in the rain

Each night, reconstructed with none of the blame.

I live for when hope turns reality.

I cant put down the possibility.

Yet I reach for one of life’s happiest things,

And if I recognise joy, my heart can now sing.

We can no longer meet every week for a chat.

I cant live forever and ever like that.

You didn’t run away when you lifted the lid,

I’m so thankful you caught me, as no one else did.

Now I need to be brave and walk on alone.

If I ever slip you are the first I will phone.

When I need a friend or feelings are raw,

I will also need the world’s greatest counsellor

But it’s time.

I need to look up and expand what I see.

The whole world can’t always be about me.

Thank you for everything Emilio.

ABOUT THE POEM: "This poem is a letter about the sad end of a relationship with a highly valued counsellor, someone you wish was also your friend so that it didn't have to end. It reflects on the journey of support, comfort and exploration. It considers what is left, the writer's perception of the rest of the world from the inside and what they feel they need to hang on to, even from a heart breaking situation. Be kind to yourself, wherever you are in your life."

ABOUT CARRIE:

Dr Carrie Cutts is an optical assistant, former educator and writer from Poole, UK. Her work explores emotional truth, resilience, and the healing power of hope. Through poetry, she maps the inner landscapes of survival and transformation.