I BECAME ME

By David Cleofas Avila

I became the craziest

Person in the room,

Then I was asked to leave,

After which, I was just another soul

Wandering toward some past goal;

I became scared, and,

Fearful I was the craziest-

Person alive,

Asked for help,

From those whom I could-

Share with what I had become,

So, I became a patient

In denial of my memories

Of being asked to leave

The room of my peers,

For I could not accept

What I had become;

Begrudgingly I ate the pills

The doctors prescribed,

I became a regular client

At a mental health office,

Eventually, I became, once again

Able to remember the me I was-

Before I became shunned,

And of that thought, 

I would not let go,

Striving every day,

No longer wandering,

But toward my goal,

Of shedding what I had become;

But,

I became a failure,

Many times, at work and school,

Before I became a success-

I even became the most-functioning,

Craziest person in the room,

Unfortunately, I had to remove 

myself from the good company,

For memories of a long past me,

Being asked by my peers to leave,

I could not shake;

Therefore, in order to square away

The sequelae of life,

I wrote, sang, and painted

Until I became me.

But Therein, Underneath,

Feelings. Chaos.

Swallowed. Pill by pill.

Sanity claws uphill.

Sifting through shifting

fugue 'n' voices.

Until calm mind returns;

A magical delight,

Once, before lightning

In a scream,

Defined me,

Robbing me of me,

Taking me from you.

Excitement is exciting,

But insanity is

far from fun;

Laughing, sharing

non jokes with no one,

Sent to help, even

Asked for it,

despite Incredible

Whispers beckoning

"do not take

pills, one by one,

that take this world

from me." But therein,

Underneath, lay

A memory of,

An inkling of a feeling,

That the chaos I feel

Does not resonate

With anyone.

ABOUT DAVID: A former Peer Support Specialist with a B.A. in Psychology from Sonoma State University, having experienced psychosis as a teen, later diagnosed with schizophrenia, David Cleofas Avila writes and makes art & music to better square away the sequelae of life. His poetry has been published in Oddball Magazine, eMerge Magazine, The Poetry Cove, Flora Fiction, and Breath & Shadow.

UNTITLED

By Charity Louise

I hear them there every day.

Why will they not go away?

They tell me that I'll be betrayed.

Will it really be that way?

They fill my brain with thoughts and doubts.

Will I ever make it out

Of the hell that I am in?

I don't think I'll ever win.

I'm sure they've taken over me.

The voices make me want to flee.

They make me want to cry inside,

but I know that I can't hide.

In their own words, writers and poets write about their own personal journey with mental health.

Nine amazing writers and poets about their journey with mental health.

Featuring almost 80 poets around the world, with up to six pieces of their work, and a little about the author and the stories behind their work.

Promoting books and publications on the themes of mental health.

Articles about poetry and positive mental health.