Featured Poet - Jase Delaney

SILENT SCREAMS

In life I am happy most of the time and

go about my day,

I smile and laugh as best I can, that

changed when you went away,

We lose our loved ones, that is life

and everybody cries,

But nothing I do will stop the silent

screams behind my eyes. 

Nobody can hear it, but I know that it

is there, 

It's like being awake all by yourself

in the darkest bad nightmare,

Is it because I miss you? Or that you

should be here? 

The silent screams they call to

me and only I can hear. 

I know it's grief I'm feeling and time

will ease the pain,

But just one thing will stop it, to see

your face again,

I look at all your pictures, I remember

better days,

The silent screams are still with me,

but a lesser volume plays. 

They say time it is a healer, and to a

degree this is true,

I live my life with my memories and

thinking about you,

I have found a way to ease the pain and

hush the silent screams,

I close my eyes, with my mind on your

face...and meet you in my dreams...

ABOUT THE POEM: "Sometimes the only solace is sleep. There was a time when I longed for the darkness. Any darkness. As time passed, I realised that you must fight through the darkness to get to the light."

~



EMPTY CHAIR

The house seems so much darker, the

sounds are somewhat grey,

The happiness of living left home with

you that day,

The pictures still remind me that you

were really there,

But all that I can see now is your

favourite ... empty chair. 

My whole life I have known you, but now

you've gone away,

My memories are like movies, in my mind

is where they play,

Life carries on regardless, they say it

get easier to bear,

But they haven't been to my house, and

seen your empty chair.

I'm not sure I should move it, what if

you're still here?

I know your body is laid to rest but is

your soul and spirit near?

I make sure that it's nice and clean,

it eases my despair,

To think that somehow you live on in

your favourite empty chair. 

They say that time's a healer, I'm not

sure that it's true,

But everywhere I go in life my

thoughts return to you,

My heart is always lonely, but I'm too

lost to care,

I'll carry on just sitting here, in

your once favourite...empty chair.

ABOUT THE POEM: "After the loss of a loved one ... what happens to their favourite chair? I kept this chair. I still have it."

~

SENSES

I hear your voice through the wind in the trees, 

Your whispers are on the cold winter breeze, 

You talk to me when the church bells will ring, 

It comforts me and it makes my heart sing. 

I see your image in the rise of the morning sun, 

The warmth on my face stops me coming undone, 

It creates shadows of me, I know that is true, 

But in my self-comforting mind, I hope that it’s you. 

I smell your scent as I breath in the air, 

It somehow softens my inner despair, 

I’ll reminisce to a time we once had, 

The tears they are happy, but sometimes are sad. 

I often feel numb, and it rains in my head, 

They say wine is for blood and the flesh is the bread, 

I’m not sure that I believe in God up above, 

But then he must exist as he gave me your love. 

My senses will guide me, and you’ll help me feel, 

That I must carry on living, my life is real, 

I’ll live in your honour as I love you so much, 

Those tears that escape me are your liquid touch. 

ABOUT THE POEM: "When I am at a loss….I trust my senses."

~

LIQUID TOUCH

Sometimes I hear you calling, but I

know that you're not here,

Yet it's my name that calls from you

when the breeze catches my ear,

Am I going crazy? Is this God's cruel

game?

He makes the wind and the sound of your

voice sound the very same. 

Sometimes I see your shadow, but

I cannot reason why,

I see your face amongst the clouds as I

look up to the sky,

I know that this is madness, my mind is

punishing me,

It knows that it's your beautiful face

that my heart so longs to see. 

Sometimes I feel your presence, a warm

shiver down my spine,

A reminder of the loss I feel when I

think I'm doing fine,

It's not fair that I can't see you,

it's selfish but it's true,

I'd sell my soul a million times so I

could just see you. 

Sometimes I just remember, my memories

keep me strong,

My smile appears, and I feel ok when I

hear your favourite song,

As I remember holding you and I'd kiss

your cheek with grace,

I feel a tear, your liquid touch, run

gently down my face...

ABOUT THE POEM: "Don’t we all have constant reminders of a loss? A scent, a memory or simply a song playing on the radio. Is a loved one saying hi. I hope so."

~

I WALK BY YOUR SIDE ...

I'm there when you wake as the sun

breaks at dawn,

You open your eyes as a new day is

born,

I watch as you wake up with your

beating sad heart,

I know you can't see me but we're never

apart. 

I'm there when you leave home, to work

you must go,

Your smile is your mask so the sadness

won't show,

I listen when you talk to me, you think

I can't hear,

My reply is a whisper of wind in your

ear. 

I'm there when you're angry because you

can't see me,

I wish you could know that you I can

see,

I'd love to take all of your sadness

away,

But you brave the days darkness and

continue your day. 

I'm there when you're happy as works

nearly done,

You walk towards home, but you just want

to run,

I see your emotions leave your eye in a

tear,

I wish you could know that I am still

here. 

I'm there when you wait for the cruel

day to end,

A broken heart is a thing that just

won't mend,

You miss me, I know that and I miss you

too,

I never left your side, I'm still with

you. 

I'm there when you go to bed, I help

close your eyes,

You are with me again as the day slowly

dies,

I watch as the dreams make you smile

once again,

They seem to be the remedy to your

heavy hearts pain. 

If only you knew that I'm here with you

now,

I'll never leave you, no way, no how,

I love you and miss you, you fill me

with pride,

Every life step you take...I walk by

your side...X

ABOUT THE POEM: "I often find myself talking to lost loved ones…..but what if we heard a response ….?"

~

GRIEF ...

I'm ok. I'm fine. What is death? Just means I can't see them that's all. But I miss seeing them. I know they are still here. Or do I? Yes, you do. You feel them close. Then why do I feel sad? It's because you can't see them. I miss them. The sun seems colder. The wind smells strange. Don't be silly. What is death? Is it God punishing me? What have I done? Is it fair? No. It's life. I feel ok today. But I feel guilty for feeling ok. That's not right. I miss them. But they are still with me. What is death? Death is a bastard. I feel sad today, but the sun seems warmer than yesterday. I miss them. I wonder if they see me cry. I feel ok today. Got to carry on. I'll pretend to be happy. What is death? It's something that takes the body away in order to leave the soul with us. Really? It makes things easier to think that way. I've got to smile today. I feel guilty smiling. It's ok to smile. It's a mask I will wear. The sun seems warmer today. The wind still smells strange. Why does everything remind me of them? Why? It's because you love them. You don't just stop loving them because you can't see them silly. I know. I smiled today. I even laughed. They say grief gets better after time. Really? Grief never leaves. You just learn how to live with it. It's not a choice that you have. The sun seems warmer today. The wind is making a strange sound though. Is that them talking to me? Don't be silly. Yes. I don't know. I'm ok. I'm fine. Aren't I?...

ABOUT THE PIECE: "A conversation in my broken mind."