the things i never said

By Amelia Hart


ISBN: 9798190870862

This collection follows a journey through abuse, silence, survival, loss, resilience and, eventually, healing. Each poem offers an honest glimpse into the experiences that are often left unspoken, exploring both the weight of trauma and its effect on the brain and day to day life.


Raw, vulnerable and deeply personal these poems are for anyone who’s felt unheard, alone and trapped in the past.

Extracts from the book:

FILL THE BLANKS


Sit down, get comfy, grab a snack

And get ready for this message

Ima’ give it you in the form of a poetic passage

Your job, my friend ... fill in the blanks

You’ve got this, I promise

Just listen:


‘Cause I’m desperate

I’m desperate to take back my identity and all that makes

me, me

No one questioned his authenticity

So, now my brain once born of creativity is filled with toxicity.

Hostility

I hope to one day live within tranquillity, away from this fragility 

That came when he and his toxic masculinity,

Forgot all his responsibilities

And took advantage of my susceptibilities

It lasted an infinity

The day he took my dignity

Along with my v- blank

Fill that space, you’re doing great

‘Cause my mouths been held closed with tape

His was not when he told me I had the perfect body shape

He acted upon his ape like dreamscape

I can’t escape

I can’t admit my first time was a r- blank

Go on then, That’s all for now

So, please, use my rhythm, hear my rhyme, my cries

I promise your best guess is probably right ... fill in the blanks



IS IT BETTER?


I was once told not to do anything stupid again

And I just responded with yeah, well, it would easier if I was dead

And I know I’m not that difficult

But I’m a problem nonetheless

So, I think I should just be dead

And put a gun to my head

Or a rope round my neck

But won’t do that again

So instead, I take a blade to my skin

And I put salt in the wound

Just to make it sting

Because surely that’s better than the alternative

Surely that’s better than diving over the rails

Praying to go my attempt doesn’t fail

Surely that’s better than shoving pills down my throat

And giving myself an overdose

Surely, it’s better than me committing suicide

Is it ... better?



I’LL BELIEVE YOU


“You wanna’ play house”

“I promise it’s fun”

“I’ll show you what mummies and daddies do”

“I’ll show you what they did to make you”

But this ain't the game I remember 

I ain't no fool

But I’m scared and I’m young

I was told to trust and respect in my elders

So that I shall do

I’ll lay, play nice, I won’t fight

I’ll stay quiet 

Because I believe what you say is true

That’s what I was taught to do

So sure let’s play house

I’ll do as I’m told to

As I’m taught to do


I’M THERE


A needle pierces my lips

Binds them together

Gathering at the seems

I’m silenced

The story no will know it haunts me

A nightmare

A flash back

A crash, bang, boom, I’m there

Again

All over again

Does this ever end

Cause a life under threat is no life for a child 

When is it my turn thrive

Feel alive

Live beyond fight and flight

Not be forced just survive

When’s it my turn to be a child

Cause that was stolen when I was just nine




AMELIA is a young poet from the United Kingdom whose work reflects her personal traumas, lived experiences and observations about the seemingly harsh world around her. Through sharing her raw, emotional poetry, Amelia hopes to bring awareness to stories like hers, and help others - who relate to it - in their journeys. This is her first published collection.


Order a copy

Search ISBN: 9798190870862 at your local Amazon store or contact Amelia via this website.