Featured Poet -  Charity Louise

FULLY ONLINE SHORTLY

DISEASE

Hello fellow addicts I am your disease,

I will never let you sleep or put your mind at ease,

I will always be here no matter where you go,

I am smarter than you and I am in control,

Family, friends, and loved ones they won't matter anymore,

I'll take everything you got and still want something more

I was there for you in the good times but mostly in the bad,

I've made you feel so happy but in the end you was always sad

You will lie to everyone and say that I ain't real,

but if that's the case why can't you put down that pill

I come in many forms, and shapes, and size

Then following comes denial, deceit, and lies

I will turn you from everyone that tries to take you from me

Together we will spend all eternity

I'll embrace you in my arms and I'll never set you free,

Spend our life together won't that make you happy,

Don't let those people tell you what I am all about,

Cause then you'll find a way; a way to kick me out

Well here I go now I'll just be on my way

but not for to much longer cause I still have much to say

So when you think I'm gone and you can finally be at ease,

Just remember this I will always be your disease 

DRUGS

Do you know those drugs

Will never outlast

The tug of war you play

With the pain from your past

You're fighting your battles

On all the wrong levels

And doing street drugs

Won't help to beat that devil

Just because they don't do

Drugs like you do

Doesn't mean they can't understand

The struggles you go through

No one knows what it's like

To battle with addiction everyday

Or how it feels to walk around

Needing to get high all day

What I do know about

Is the Demons you fight

Battling your own self

In your head all night

I know exactly what it's like

To be trapped In your own mind

Stumbling, falling

Running as if you're blind.

Walking through your life

Full of resentment guilt and regret

That always leaves you feeling

So emotionally upset

You so badly need to seek help

With what you're battling inside

Because you can't survive alone

Letting go of ur dignity Against your own side

Your hurt and your trauma

And all your tears

Will hold you back

So be the person

You were meant to be

And do this thing called life 

While being completely clean

Say goodbye

To the turmoil and strife

And make this the year

You take back your life!

I KNOW YOU'RE THERE

I know you're there.

Lurking in the darkness of the night,

Cowering in the shadows, avoiding the light,

Crouched behind the curtain or hid beneath the bed,

Awaiting the chance to dive into my head.

I know you're there.

With your bloodshot eyes glowing, never showing,

Watching me with a hunger, all the while knowing

I fear you most when the daylight's gone,

With seemingly endless hours til morning's dawn.

I know you're there.

With your black heart pounding in your leathery chest,

Knowing too well I'll get no rest

As you prowl my room like a ghostly haunt,

I know it's my soul that you need and want.

I know you're there,

You demon from Hell. I know you can tell

My fears are growing and beginning to swell

Like a ticking time bomb about to explode.

You sit patiently with your evils to unload.

I know you're there.

You pitiless beast, ready to feed

On my every thought, on my every deed

I can feel you staring, glaring, carrying out your scheme

To enter my mind through an open dream.

I know you're there.

No noise you make as you devise a plan for my soul to take

Back to the land of the living dead before I awake.

I won't sleep, I won't close an eye

As soon as I do I know I'll die

REAPPEAR

Today I feel better, because I woke thinking everything that disappears from the planet

might reappear somewhere else. The thought was grand at first. I imagined the dodo,

silly and lost forever, still alive in some other dimension. Inevitably, though,

the thought became smaller. I tried to save it by imagining the dodo’s core

ingredients recycled and assimilated into otherness: absorbed by predators or

scavengers, turned into dirt. I began to care less about form. If my body broken into atoms

still exists, then the loss of my body is not a true loss,

for I was only briefly human.

Yesterday, when I woke, I felt not so good, because I realized that every day the possibility 

of my sleeping with two women at the same time diminishes.

A sad thought

first thing in the morning. It only proves how ridiculous thinking can be:

the wrong thought can waylay all other plans and send one into a daylong daydream

about Porno World, where the best career you can have is plumber or pizza-delivery guy.

And now I am sad once again because it is unpleasant to realize that both thoughts carry

equal weight in my mind: a world where nothing dies because everything still exists,

and a world where beautiful women call you up to fix their television but decide

they’d like to f**k you instead. I thought of their mouths on my body, and also I

thought of the dodo being not extinct but opening

a fragment of sky low to the horizon — even the air at our feet is sky — and stepping through into dodo heaven, becoming the dodosattva, but still

essentially a large, flightless bird, easy to catch, pleasant of taste.

Now it occurs to me that even if the dodos came back, I wouldn’t be happy for long.

And even if two bisexual roommate stewardesses suddenly ravished me midflight,

eventually I would want more than that — more mouths, more women —

and even smothered under the weight of their passion somehow I would want more flesh, less air.

Nothing ever goes away enough or arrives enough,

and I want to cry when I think of my heart,

muscle pounding in muscle, greedy always for joy.